Coming to the realization that this job wasn’t going to pan out, I experienced feelings quite similar to what I had felt during previous relationship breakups.
Just as this job seemed to afford me with all I needed—including good healthcare benefits and an onsite daycare—with certain guys I dated, the first few dates went so well that I felt like all my prayers for finding a mate were being answered, all my fears and woes were being swept away. And that is what made the end of these dating relationships so difficult. I hit the pavement hard when I realized that I had not in fact found my “salvation,” the “answer to my prayers.” He was gone, and all my worries and concerns swiftly returned.
The bubble of my beautiful fantasy was popped.
I was left feeling deflated, demoralized, completely emotionally spent.
I think this particular loss also piggy-backed on the feelings of loss I felt when I, albeit willingly and intentionally, left my job in NY of six years. This has happened in the past with dating as well; that I grieved over not only the loss of the most recent breakup, but the wound from the one before that was somewhat opened in the process.
A few days after my job was over, as I came to terms with my new reality, I remembered a lesson I had learned from ending dating relationships, as well as unhealthy friendships: that I could look at what I cherished about these relationships and bring them into my life moving forward. In this case, I realized how much I liked the commute in that it was only 20-30 minutes long and I could listen to great beats on my car radio as I drove. This experience confirmed what I already knew—that having a not too long or difficult commute is something I value and need from a job. And I realized that just because I wasn’t going to be commuting to that exact location anymore, I could still apply the things I enjoyed to my future commute.